it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
