Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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