Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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