btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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