he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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