just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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