Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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