my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
