Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
