I'm going to jail i love you
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
