No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
