He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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