Porn is love you can see.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
