its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
