WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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