how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
