God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
