they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
