what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
