why didn't you poke me back
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
