It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
