super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
