sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
