youre lurking in front of me
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
