My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
