I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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