I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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