it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
