And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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