why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i will never coherently bang her
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
