What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
