My nipple is on Facebook.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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