You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
