why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
