Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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