got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
