i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
