sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
