grandma shit on top of the toilet
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
