I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
