He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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