Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
