Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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