And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm always down for nudity.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
