I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
