you're like a bully in the Christmas story
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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