New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
