his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
