My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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