I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
